Grammar Notes 18 |
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Vて + くれる／あげる／もらう: Giving and Receiving Favors |
In Lesson 16, we learned three verbs used for giving and receiving things:
- くれる: Someone gives something to me/us (or someone in my group).
- あげる: I/we give something to someone else, or one person gives something to another person.
- もらう: I/we or someone else receives something from another person.
These same verbs can be attached to the V て form. In this pattern, however, what is “given” or “received” is not an object but an action or favor.
- Vてくれる = someone does something for me/us
- Vてあげる = I/we do something for someone else
- Vてもらう = someone does something for me/us (or another beneficiary), viewed from the beneficiary's perspective
Compare the following:
- 田中さんが私に本をくれました。
Tanaka gave me a book.
- 田中さんが私に本を買ってくれました。
Tanaka bought a book for me.
In the second sentence, what Tanaka “gave” me was the favor of buying the book.
1. Vてくれる and Vてあげる
With Vてくれる and Vてあげる, the person who performs the action is the subject.
| Benefactorが／は |
Beneficiaryに |
Vて |
あげる／くれる |
Vてくれる: Someone does something for me/us
- 田中さんは 私に お金をかして くれました。
Tanaka lent me money. (= Tanaka did me the favor of lending me money.)
Here, 田中さん is the benefactor—the person performing the favor—and 私 is the beneficiary.
Because くれる presents the action as being done for the speaker (or someone associated with the speaker), we would not normally use あげる to express this same situation:
- ✽田中さんは 私に お金をかして あげました。 [Ungrammatical]
This sentence does not have the intended viewpoint “Tanaka did me the favor of lending me money.” あげる normally presents the action from the giver/doer's side rather than from the speaker as recipient.
Vてあげる: I/we do something for someone else
- 私は 田中さんに お金をかして あげました。
I lent Tanaka money. (= I did Tanaka the favor of lending him money.)
Here, 私 is the benefactor and 田中さん is the beneficiary.
- ✽私は 田中さんに お金をかして くれました。[Ungrammatical]
This does not work with 私 as both the person performing the favor and the speaker who benefits from it. When I do something for someone else, use Vてあげる, not Vてくれる.
⚠Note: Vてあげる explicitly presents your action as something beneficial that you do for another person. For this reason, saying Vてあげる directly to a superior, or about an action that the other person did not necessarily want, can sometimes sound presumptuous. In actual conversation, Japanese speakers often simply use the verb without あげる.
2. Vてもらう: Receiving a Favor
V てもらう describes the same type of event from the beneficiary's point of view. The beneficiary is now the subject, and the person who performs the action is marked by に.
| Beneficiaryが／は |
Benefactorに |
Vて |
もらう |
- 私は 田中さんに 本を買って もらいました。
Tanaka bought me a book. Literally: I received from Tanaka the favor of buying a book.
- 田中さんは リーさんに 本を買って もらいました。
Lee bought a book for Tanaka.
Notice that the same event can often be described from two different viewpoints:
- 田中さんが 私に 本を買ってくれました。
Tanaka bought me a book. → viewpoint: Tanaka performed a favor for me
- 私は 田中さんに 本を買ってもらいました。
Tanaka bought me a book. → viewpoint: I received the favor from Tanaka
The English translations may be nearly identical, but the Japanese sentences organize the event differently.
This would mean that Tanaka received the favor from me—that is, I bought a book for Tanaka. It therefore does not describe a situation in which Tanaka bought a book for me.
3. When the Beneficiary Is Marked by を
The beneficiary is not always marked by に. With verbs such as つれて行く (take someone somewhere), おくって行く (take/drive someone somewhere), and てつだう (help someone), the person affected by the action is already the direct object of the verb and is therefore marked by を.
| Benefactorが／は |
Beneficiaryを |
Vて |
くれる／あげる |
- 田中さんは 私を えきに つれて行って くれた。
Tanaka took me to the station.
- 田中さんは 私を てつだって くれた。
Tanaka helped me.
- 私は 田中さんを えきに つれて行って あげた。
I took Tanaka to the station.
- 私は 田中さんを てつだって あげた。
I helped Tanaka.
With V てもらう, however, the beneficiary becomes the subject:
| Beneficiaryが／は |
Benefactorに |
Vて |
もらう |
- 私は 田中さんに えきまで おくって行って もらった。
Tanaka drove me to the station.
- 私は 田中さんに てつだって もらった。
Tanaka helped me.
Be careful not to confuse the different uses of に. For example:
- 田中さんは 私を えきに つれて行ってくれた。
- 私を = beneficiary/person being taken
- えきに = destination
With おくって行く, まで can also mark the destination:
- 田中さんに えきまで おくって行ってもらった。
I had Tanaka drive me as far as the station.
FYI: てつだう You can say either:
- 田中さんをてつだう: help Tanaka
or
- しゅくだいをてつだう: help with the homework
To say “help Tanaka with his homework,” Japanese normally says:
- 田中さんのしゅくだいを てつだう
- Not: ✽ 田中さんを しゅくだいを てつだう [Ungrammatical]
A single verb cannot normally take two separate direct objects marked by を in this way.
4. When the Beneficiary Is Expressed with のために
Some actions do not have a natural grammatical position for the person who benefits from them. For example, you can clean a room, fix a car, or eat pizza, but the person for whose benefit you perform the action is not normally an argument of these verbs. In such cases, N のために can explicitly identify the beneficiary:
| Benefactorが／は |
Beneficiarのために |
Vて |
くれる／あげる |
- 田中さんは 私のために 部屋をそうじして くれた。
Tanaka cleaned the room for me.
- 私は 田中さんのために 車をなおして あげた。
I fixed the car for Tanaka.
- 私は 田中さんのために ピザを食べて あげた。
I ate the pizza for Tanaka.
The last sentence requires an appropriate context: for example, Tanaka does not like the pizza and I help him by eating it for him. Without such a context, eating someone's pizza would not normally be interpreted as doing that person a favor.
With V てもらう, the beneficiary is again the subject:
| Beneficiaryが／は |
Benefactorに |
Vて |
もらう |
- 私は 田中さんに 部屋をそうじして もらった。
I had Tanaka clean my room. / Tanaka cleaned my room for me.
- 田中さんは リーさんに 車をなおして もらった。
Tanaka had Lee fix his car. / Lee fixed Tanaka's car for him.
- 私は リーさんに ピザを食べて もらった。
I had Lee eat my pizza. / Lee ate my pizza for me.
Again, the last example requires a context in which having Lee eat the pizza is beneficial to me. 5. The Key Difference: Viewpoint
The most important difference among these three patterns is whose perspective the speaker takes:
| Pattern |
Subject |
Basic Viewpoint |
| Vてくれる |
person doing the favor |
Someone does something for me/us |
| Vてあげる |
person doing the favor |
I/we (or someone) do something for someone else |
| Vてもらう |
person receiving the favor |
Someone receives the benefit of another person's action |
Thus, V てくれる and V てもらう can often describe the same event, but from opposite grammatical perspectives:
- 弟が私を空港までおくって行ってくれた。
My younger brother drove me to the airport.
- 私は弟に空港までおくって行ってもらった。
My younger brother drove me to the airport.
(Lit. I received from my brother the favor of driving me to the airport.)
The event is the same. What changes is the speaker's viewpoint and how the participants are organized in the sentence.
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Vていただけませんか: Making Requests |
We previously learned Vてください as a basic way to make a polite request:
- おなまえを書いてください。
Please write down your name.
Japanese has several other request forms based on the giving and receiving expressions that we have just learned. These forms allow speakers to adjust the level of politeness according to their relationship with the listener and the situation. Compare:
- Vていただけませんか
- Vてくださいませんか
- Vてもらえませんか
- Vてくれませんか
- Vてもらえない？
- Vてくれない？
- Vて。
In general, the expressions toward the top are more appropriate when greater politeness or deference is needed, while those toward the bottom are used with people with whom you have a closer relationship.
Highly Polite Requests
Vていただけませんか
When making a request of a superior, customer, or someone outside your own group, a highly polite request form such as V ていただけませんか is often appropriate. いただく (“to receive”) is the humble form of もらう. Its potential form is いただける (“can receive”). いただけませんか is the polite negative question form of いただける. Compare what we learned previously:
- 私は先生にすいせんじょうを書いてもらいました。
My professor wrote a recommendation letter for me.
- The humble equivalent of もらう is いただく:
- 私は先生にすいせんじょうを書いていただきました。
My professor kindly wrote a recommendation letter for me.
- When the potential form is made into a negative question, it becomes a very polite request:
- 先生、すいせんじょうを書いていただけませんか。
Professor, could you please write me a recommendation letter?
- おなまえを書いていただけませんか。
Could you please write down your name?
The literal structure is approximately “Could I receive the favor of your doing ...?” However, in natural English, it is normally translated simply as “Could you please ...?” This form is especially useful when the speaker wants to show deference to the person being asked. Vてくださいませんか
Another polite request form is V てくださいませんか. くださる is the honorific form of くれる, and くださいます is its polite form. Its negative question form くださいませんか can therefore be understood as asking whether the listener would “give” the speaker the favor of performing an action.
- おなまえを書いてくださいませんか。
Would you please write down your name?
Both V ていただけませんか and V てくださいませんか are polite and deferential. V ていただけませんか places the speaker in the position of humbly receiving the favor and is generally more deferential. Notice the difference in viewpoint:
- Vてくださいませんか → Would you give me the favor of doing V?
- Vていただけませんか → Could I receive the favor of your doing V?
Polite Requests
Vてもらえませんか
Vてもらえませんか is based on the potential form of もらう:
- もらう → もらえる → もらえませんか
- この本をかしてもらえませんか。
Could you lend me this book?
Literally, the speaker asks, “Could I receive the favor of your lending me this book?” This is a polite and common request form, particularly among acquaintances and coworkers and in situations where highly deferential language is not necessary. With a superior or in a more formal situation, V ていただけませんか is generally more appropriate.
Vてくれませんか
V てくれませんか is another polite request:
- この本をかしてくれませんか。
Would you lend me this book?
This form asks the listener whether they will “give” the speaker the favor of performing the action. It is less deferential than V ていただけませんか or V てくださいませんか and is most natural with people who are not socially distant from the speaker. For example, it can be used with acquaintances, coworkers, or members of a host family when the relationship permits it. Compare:
- この本をかしていただけませんか。
Could you please lend me this book? (highly polite/deferential)
- この本をかしてもらえませんか。
Could you lend me this book? (polite)
- この本をかしてくれませんか。
Would you lend me this book? (polite, but less deferential)
Casual Requests
Among friends, family members, and peers, the plain negative question forms V てもらえない？ and V てくれない？ are common. They are normally spoken with rising question intonation.
- 電話ばんごうをおしえてもらえない？
Could you tell me your phone number?
- 電話ばんごうをおしえてくれない？
Would you tell me your phone number?
An even more direct casual request can be made with the V て form alone:
- 電話ばんごうをおしえて。
Tell me your phone number.
The relationship between the forms can be summarized as follows:
| Request form |
Typical Level |
| Vていただけませんか |
highly polite/deferential |
| Vてくださいませんか |
highly polite |
| Vてもらえませんか |
polite |
| Vてくれませんか |
polite, less deferential |
| Vてもらえない？ |
casual |
| Vてくれない？ |
casual |
| Vて |
casual/direct |
These are general guidelines rather than absolute rules. The appropriate form also depends on the relationship between the speakers, the situation, and how large or burdensome the request is.
Stating a Reason Before Making a Request
In Japanese, it is common to explain your situation or give some background before making a request. The explanatory …んですが／…んだけど is especially useful for this purpose.
- おんせんに行きたいんですが、つれて行っていただけませんか。
I'd like to go to a hot spring. Could you please take me there?
Here, …んですが introduces the situation and leads naturally to the polite request. In casual conversation:
- 日本語が読めなくてこまっているんだけど、おしえてくれない？
I'm having trouble because I can't read Japanese. Could you help me?
Giving some background before making the request can make the request sound less abrupt.
“Please Give This to Ms. Smith”
Be careful when あげる itself is the action you are asking someone to perform. Suppose you give an object to Tanaka and ask him to give it to Ms. Smith:
- これをスミスさんにあげてくれませんか。
Would you give this to Ms. Smith?
- これをスミスさんにあげてもらえませんか。
Could I ask you to give this to Ms. Smith?
Here, the first あげる means “give,” while くれる／もらえる expresses the favor being requested:
- あげて + くれませんか
- あげて + もらえませんか
“Please Pass Me the Salt”
English “give” does not always correspond to Japanese あげる／くれる. For example, when you ask someone to pass you the salt, you are not asking that person to give you the salt as a gift. You simply want the person to pick it up and pass it to you. Japanese therefore commonly uses とる:
- しおをとってくれない？
Could you pass me the salt?
- しおをとってもらえない？
Could you pass me the salt?
Here, くれる／もらう does not describe the transfer of the salt itself. It describes the favor of passing it. “Could You Please Accept This?”
There is an interesting situation in which もらう itself can occur inside a request expression:
- これをもらってくださいませんか。
Would you please accept this?
- これをもらっていただけませんか。
Could you please accept this?
In these sentences, the first もらう means “receive/accept” the object:
The second verb, いただく, is part of the request construction. Thus, even though the speaker is the person giving the object, もらう can be used as the action that the listener is being asked to perform. Compare:
- これをもらう
receive/accept this
- これをもらっていただけませんか
Could I receive the favor of your accepting this? → Could you please accept this?
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The pattern ～といい is used to express a hope or wish that a desirable situation will occur. It can often be translated as “I hope ...” or “It would be nice if ....”
The clause before と is in the plain non-past form.
- Plain non-past + といいです
| Predicate |
Example |
| Verb |
見えるといいです |
| い-Adjective |
あたたかいといいです |
| な-Adjective |
しずかだといいです |
| Noun |
お休みだといいです |
Here, と can be understood approximately as “if/when.” Thus, the literal meaning of Xといい is “It would be good/nice if X.” We will learn more about と as a conditional connective later.
Hopes for Yourself
- テストでいいてんがとれるといいです。
I hope I can get a good score on the test.
- ふじさんが見えるといいです。
I hope I can see Mt. Fuji.
In these examples, the speaker hopes that a desirable outcome will occur but cannot simply make that outcome happen.
Hopes Shared with or Directed toward Others
The sentence particle ね is frequently added when the speaker shares a hope with the listener or expresses a hope concerning the listener or someone else.
- テストでいいてんがとれるといいですね。
I hope you can get a good score on the test.
- あした雨がふらないといいですね。
I hope it won't rain tomorrow.
- あした、あたたかいといいですね。
I hope it will be warm tomorrow.
- あした、お休みだといいですね。
I hope tomorrow will be a day off.
Strictly speaking, ね itself does not mean “you.” Who the hope concerns is normally understood from the context. …といいですね often sounds like “I hope ...” or “Let's hope ...,” with the speaker inviting the listener to share the hope. …といいんですが／…といいんですけど
When the speaker is less certain that the desired situation will actually occur, or wants to express the hope more tentatively, …といい(ん)ですが or …といい(ん)ですけど is often used. The unfinished が／けど gives the sense of “I hope ..., but we'll see” or “It would be nice if ..., though....”
- ふじさんが見えるといいんですが。
I hope we can see Mt. Fuji.
- あした、あたたかいといいんですけど。
I hope it will be warm tomorrow.
- あした、お休みだといいんですが。
I hope tomorrow will be a day off.
- あした、朝ねぼうしないといいんですけど。
I hope I won't oversleep tomorrow.
The ん is common because the speaker is presenting the hope against some background concern or uncertainty. Forms without ん (…といいですが／…といいですけど) are also possible. Caution: Your Own Controllable Actions
There is an important restriction on ～といい. This pattern presents X as a desired outcome rather than as something the speaker simply decides or intends to do. It is therefore especially natural for situations that are not entirely under the speaker's control:
- あした晴れるといい。
I hope it will be sunny tomorrow.
- ふじさんが見えるといい。
I hope I can see Mt. Fuji.
- テストでいいてんがとれるといい。
I hope I can get a good score on the test.
Be careful, therefore, when using …といい to express a hope about your own intentional action. For example, しゃしんをとる describes an action that the speaker can intentionally perform. You can say:
- しゃしんをとろう。
Let's take a picture. / I'll take a picture.
Because taking a picture can be an intentional action, simply saying:
- △ しゃしんをとるといい。 (intended: I hope I take a picture.)
does not naturally express the intended meaning.
If what you mean is that you hope circumstances will make the action possible, use the potential form:
- しゃしんをとれるといい。
I hope I can take a picture.
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We have already seen 時（とき） as a time noun in expressions such as:
- ひまな時: when (someone) is free
- 子どもの時: when (someone) is a child; during one's childhood
時 can also follow an entire clause to indicate when another event happens:
The clause before 時 is normally in the plain form. An important point is that the form used before 時 does not simply tell us whether the whole sentence refers to the present, past, or future. With an action verb, the non-past form (V る) and past form (V た) often show whether the action in S1 is not yet completed or already completed when S2 occurs.
Vる時 vs. Vた時
Compare the following sentences. Both refer to future events:
- 日本に行く時、おみやげを買います。
I will buy a souvenir when I go to Japan.
- 日本に行った時、おみやげを買います。
I will buy a souvenir when I go to Japan.
Although the English translations are similar, the timing is different.
Vる時: S1 has not been completed
At the time the speaker buys the souvenir, going to Japan has not yet been completed. The speaker might buy it before leaving home or on the way to Japan, for example.
- おみやげを買う → 日本に行く／日本につく ("arrive in Japan")
Thus:
- 日本に行く時 = when I am going to Japan / before I have arrived in Japan
Vた時: S1 has been completed
At the time the speaker buys the souvenir, going to Japan has already been completed. In the intended interpretation here, the speaker has arrived in Japan and then buys the souvenir.
Thus:
- 日本に行った時 = when I have gone to Japan / after I have arrived in Japan
A useful way to think about this contrast is:
- Vる時 → V is not yet completed when the main event occurs
- Vた時 → V is already completed when the main event occurs
The Same Rule Applies to Past Events
This distinction is not determined by whether the whole sentence refers to the future or the past. It describes the relationship between the two events. Compare:
- えきに行く時、先生に会いました。
I met my teacher when I was going to the station.
/I met my teacher on my way to the station.
- えきに行った時、先生に会いました。
I met my teacher when I got to the station.
/I met my teacher after I arrived at the station.
Both sentences describe events that happened in the past. Nevertheless, Sentence 3 uses 行く, not 行った. Why? In Sentence 3 above, when the speaker met the teacher, the trip to the station was not yet completed:
- 先生に会った → えきについた
Therefore: えきに行く時、先生に会いました。
In Sentence 4, going to the station was already completed when the speaker met the teacher:
- えきについた → 先生に会った
Therefore: えきに行った時、先生に会いました。
This is an important difference between Japanese and English. Do not automatically change the verb before 時 to the past form simply because the entire event happened in the past.
Instead, ask:
- At the time S2 happened, had S1 already been completed?
No → Vる時
Yes → Vた時
時 with States and Ongoing Activities
The distinction is less clear-cut when the clause before 時 describes a state, rather than an action with a clear beginning and endpoint. For example:
- あつい時、よくおよぎました。
When it was hot, I often swam.
- あつかった時、よくおよぎました。
When it was hot, I often swam.
Both can refer to hot periods in the past. The non-past form あつい時 simply identifies “times when it is/was hot,” while あつかった時 more explicitly views the hot period as a past situation. Similarly:
- びょうきの時、くすりを飲みました。
When I was sick, I took medicine.
- びょうきだった時、くすりを飲みました。
When I was sick, I took medicine.
Again, both can describe a past situation. びょうきの時 identifies the circumstance “when sick,” while びょうきだった時 explicitly presents the illness as a past state. With an ongoing action in V ている, both forms are also possible:
- テレビを見ている時、電話がありました。
I got a phone call while I was watching TV.
- テレビを見ていた時、電話がありました。
I got a phone call while I was watching TV.
Both indicate that watching TV was in progress when the phone call occurred. 見ていた時 explicitly places that ongoing situation in the past, while 見ている時 identifies the circumstance in which the phone call occurred without independently marking it as past. Summary
With action verbs, pay particular attention to whether the action before 時 has been completed when the main event occurs:
| Form |
Relationship to S2 |
Example |
| Vる時 |
V is not yet completed when S2 occurs |
えきに行く時、先生に会った。 |
| Vた時 |
V is already completed when S2 occurs |
えきに行った時、先生に会った。 |
| Vている時 |
V is in progress when S2 occurs |
テレビを見ている時、電話があった。 |
Therefore, the form before 時 should not be selected simply by asking whether the sentence describes the past or future. Instead, consider the timing of S1 relative to S2. |
5 |
…てすみません: Apology & Epressing Difficulty |
The て form can be used before an expression such as すみません, ごめんなさい, or もうしわけございません to state what the speaker is apologizing for:
- レポートのしめきりにおくれて、もうしわけございません。
I'm very sorry for missing the deadline for the report. [said to a professor, supervisor, etc.]
- しゅくだいをわすれて、すみません。
I'm sorry I forgot my homework. [said to a teacher]
- おそくなって、ごめん。
Sorry I'm late. [said to a friend]
The expression at the end can be changed according to the level of politeness:
| Request form |
Typical Level |
| …て、もうしわけございません。 |
very formal/deferential |
| …て、すみません。 |
polite |
| ～て、ごめんなさい。 |
informal/personal |
| ～て、ごめん。 |
casual |
The situation before the apology does not have to describe the speaker's action. It can also describe a situation for which the speaker feels responsible:
- 料理がからくて、ごめんなさい。
I'm sorry the food is so spicy.
Apologize for the Problem, Not Just the Excuse
When making an apology, it is usually important to state what you did or what problem you caused. For example:
- ミーティングにおくれて、もうしわけございません。
I'm very sorry for being late to the meeting.
This directly acknowledges the problem for which the speaker is responsible. Compare:
- △ 電車がじこでおくれて、もうしわけございません。
The train was delayed because of an accident, and I'm very sorry.
This is problematic as an apology for your own lateness because the て-clause describes the train's delay, not the fact that you were late. It may therefore sound as though you are apologizing for something that happened to the train. If an explanation is necessary, first make clear what you are apologizing for:
- ミーティングにおくれて、もうしわけございません。電車がじこでおくれたんです。
I'm very sorry for being late to the meeting. The train was delayed because of an accident.
In many situations, it is better to apologize first and give the reason afterward if an explanation is needed.
～てこまる: Expressing Difficulty
The same て form can introduce a situation that causes difficulty or trouble:
- 道にまよって、こまっています。
I'm lost and don't know what to do.
(Lit. I got lost and am having difficulty.)
- きのうは銀行がお休みで、こまりました。
The bank was closed yesterday, and that caused me trouble.
Notice that nouns and な-adjectives use で, their て-form equivalent. The て Form Does Not Show Tense by Itself
The て form itself does not indicate past or non-past tense. Its time interpretation comes from the context and from the predicate at the end of the sentence. Compare:
- 道にまよって、こまっています。
I got lost and am having difficulty.
- 道にまよって、こまりました。
I got lost and had difficulty.
The form まよって is the same in both sentences. The ending こまっています／こまりました and the context tell us how to interpret the timing. Sometimes the situation described by the て-clause must be understood from context:
- テストの点がわるくて、おちこんでいます。
My test score was bad, and I'm depressed about it.
Although わるくて itself does not contain past-tense marking, the context tells us that the speaker has already received the test score and is now depressed because of it.
Negative …なくて
The negative て form of verbs and い-adjectives is ～なくて: V ない → V なくて.
- メールのへんじを出さなくて、すみません。
I'm sorry I didn't reply to your email.
- コンピュータがつかえなくて、こまっています。
I can't use the computer, and I'm having difficulty.
- お金がなくて、こまっています。
I don't have any money, and I'm having difficulty.
For nouns and な-adjectives, じゃなくて can be used:
- プリンがいい子じゃなくて、ごめんなさい。
I'm sorry Purin isn't a good dog.
～てすみません vs. ～なくてすみません
The affirmative and negative forms allow you to apologize either for doing something or for not doing something:
- おそくなって、すみません。
I'm sorry I'm late.
- メールのへんじを出さなくて、すみません。
I'm sorry I didn't reply to your email.
The て-clause identifies the cause or circumstance that leads to the apology. The same relationship appears with other expressions:
- …て／なくて、こまる: be troubled because ...
- …て／なくて、うれしい: be happy because ...
- …て／なくて、ざんねんだ: be disappointed because ...
The basic function of the て form here is therefore broader than apology: it connects a cause or circumstance with the speaker's resulting reaction, feeling, or evaluation. |
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